Heloisa to Piet and Rod
Piet,
You clearly explained the two
shifts that occur during the experiences of playing a game within a
game. I
would like to discuss some personal experiences regarding the first
shift and
see if it fits with your experience of that stage.
I would here
like to allude to
moments that I experienced in a therapeutic relationship. Usually, when
clients
explain what is causing them pain, I am very aware of my tendency to
ask myself
what is constraining them from feeling, thinking and behaving in ways
that are
valuable and health-promoting. I go over some of the possible
constraints such
as gender, cultural, family legacies or intrapsychic or biological
aspects.
Based on my hypothesis, I plan an intervention, implement it and
further
hypothesize about the feedback generated by my intervention. During all
this
time I am aware that I am relating in a dualistic reality. I perceive
my client
as well as myself, although working in a collaborative way, as separate
individuals occupying space and time. There are moments, however, that
a
significant shift of consciousness occurs and I can go beyond my usual
way of
interpreting and formulating hypothesis. I then feel a total connection
with
the person (here the word client no longer applies) I am with. Totally
connected,
totally aware, totally in the present moment. There is no previous
knowledge
that is abandoned. Rather, it is all the previous hypothesis and
observations
totally united in that moment. It is as if I become one with that
person one
with the interaction between us. I can see the world through that
person’s
view, while feeling the presence of a magical and somewhat numinous
quality. It
is a moment when significant shifts occur in therapy, even if the
client is not
totally conscious of that connection. As you mentioned, I am also still
aware
of the self-pole, but not as an I relating to an It, but as an I
relating to a
Thou, as described by Martin Buber. Only when I step out of this mode,
do I
experience that person once more. In the act of experience, the Thou is
no
longer present.
Questions:
- Is this
experience similar to the first shift you
mentioned?
- Can one go
beyond the
first shift when relating to
a person? In other words, can one, go beyond a self-pole while in an
intense interaction (such as in a therapeutic context) with someone? I have often asked myself that question.
I am
looking forward to your comments and the description of the third shift
in your
next e-mail.
Heloisa