Maria's Summary

This week I continued my exploration into my sense of self and where that comes from. My practice mainly consists of catching those moments when I strongly identify with being Maria and sensing what that felt like viscerally and emotionally. Then I try to figure out why I felt that way and what lead me to believe that there is a concrete self. It has been very productive thus far. I found that usually it stems from random thoughts that just pop up out of nowhere that induce me to this sense of self. It has been my habit that when thoughts come up, I automatically own them, believing that the thoughts are generated by me, the self. Instead, this practice has helped me see that in fact, it is the thoughts that generate a Maria. By following the thoughts and tracing them back to their origin, I am reminded of the empty nature of thoughts and thus, Maria is rather emptied out as well. There is definitely a difference between a narrow down sense of self and that which is all embracing and all compassing.

Also, I am continuing with "always already so" and accepting that all is already complete. I am using the word "accepting" as there is still a tendency in me that fights with what is already so and wants something else.