Nicole's Summary

This week I will write about my experiences in trying to live the WH while my brain/body was under PMS/hormonal attack. It was very challenging, or so it seemed.

It amazes me when it occurs how completely and totally I seem to experience and believe the new hormonal reality that my body/brain/mind is experiencing. It is so odd that "I" can know it is all an illusion, a hormonal attack, a temporary insanity... yet it still feels SO REAL. Black can seem white, good becomes bad, and happiness becomes misery, all in the blink of an eye.

Although I am immersed, drowning in that reality, I have been questioning this week how much I allow it, or surrender to it. I question “have I chosen to believe these emotions. Can I simply experience them and then let them go?” It is similar to thought preoccupation, but somehow more complete - as when I'm struggling with a thought - I can usually shift to another to replace it as soon as i become aware. But with an emotion, it's different. I BELIEVE the emotion, it constructs my reality much more completely than any thought ever has.

This afternoon, while immersed in the seeming reality of insanity/misery - I looked at the sky and trees and asked 'who is miserable? who is suffering?' Silence. only wind. The blue sky seemed to open and unfold. One full breath, before I heard "me! me! me! I'm suffering...!!!" I had to smile.