Heloisa to Piet, Rod and Maria
Piet, Rod and Maria,
It seems as if quite
some time has elapsed
since my last contribution. The reason for my silence was that I had
health
problems and had to be hospitalized. After being discharged, I again
had to go
through some additional medical procedures that caused a significant
amount of
anxiety. Beside that, I have been facing the possible loss of a very
dear
person to me.
Rod, on his
December 3rd contribution,
mentioned that consciousness arises when something comes along to shake
us out
of our habitual way of perceiving the world. Facing our mortality and
the
possible loss of someone very dear to us is one of those instances in
which we
are forced to relinquish our old and habitual ways of functioning and
must
entrust ourselves to the unseen and the unknown.
When trying
to grasp and hold on to the
known and the predictable, we are trapped into our ordinary and limited
sense
of reality; a reality in which we feel helpless in facing external
circumstances. After going deeply into this state of being, I was then
able to
keep asking myself the question "Who am I in this moment?", "Who
is the one suffering in this precise moment?" Suddenly, from the depth
of
the anxiety associated to what was to come, I was able to surrender to
the
present moment and totally let go. Resting in the simple ever-present
awareness
where everything is so clear and perfect just the way it is.
To me, this
has been the most profound
"experience" since joining the WoK experiment. It is so interesting
that all four of us, have been focused on surrendering and letting go.
Heloisa