Piet, Heloisa, Maria
In a 45-minute meditation on Trying & Not-trying I quickly realized that the converse of Trying is Allowing. Instead of trying to make something happen, I saw that I could instead ALLOW something to happen. Suddenly the pressure of Trying disappeared. The ease of Allowing was, instead, like relaxing deeply into a soft feather bed. Like Piet, however, I could not maintain that relaxed state of letting go for more than a short while.
Then on Friday I awoke to the knowledge that I was assuredly going to be able to allow the day to unfold in its own fashion, without the effort of Trying. The difference was subtle but clear. The day unfolded with both "good" and "bad" things happening, as is always the case, but both good & bad were more vivid and alive than is usually the case. I realized that in order to open myself to the events of daily life that I find pleasant, I would have to be equally open to those events I find unpleasant.
Not one without the other!
So, I think that the effort in trying to Not-try has something to do with trying to reach a state of pleasure while eliminating unpleasantness. Which is merely moving laterally between Pleasant & Unpleasant. Instead of moving in an entirely different direction where both the Pleasant & Unpleasant are parts of being alive to the world as it is.
Today, Saturday, I still feel the residuals of stepping beyond Pleasant & Unpleasant and allowing the day to unfold in its own fashion. I think this feeling is related to what I wrote about earlier. If I "expect" that trying is going to eliminate the unpleasantness of real life, then I fall into the habit of seeking pleasant experiences, bliss, whatever. But if I "expect" that life will unfold in its richness and variety, then I can let go of the habit and allow the full vividness of life to be there, in all of its ramifications.
Friday when I allowed myself to "let go of the habit of trying... take a chance... and see what happens," what I found was that the Pleasant and the Unpleasant are equally important, equally vivid, and equally part of being alive.
... from Rod