Heloisa to Piet and Rod
Piet, Rod and Steven,
The plan to work on the
working
hypothesis was to observe the physical tension, usually associated to
recollections of the past and worries about the future, devoid of
content and
the narrative associated to it. In other words, to make a shift of
awareness away
from the content of the situation.
I tried to
work on this proposal
without changing my daily routine, in order to more clearly observe the
impact
of this practice.
In the
morning, after meditating
on my proposal, I took a long walk to the health club. During the walk
I kept
trying to focus my awareness on my breathing and physical tension, with
apparently no great results. Suddenly, however, the initial proposal
shifted,
and the question of “Who am I”, “Who is the one walking these streets,
right
now, in this very moment” became very vivid. After repeating this
question
several times I felt, for a brief moment, a total release of tension
accompanied
by a state of bliss.
Again at the
grocery store, I
kept asking myself “Who am I” and felt, this time for a longer period
of time,
a brief shift of consciousness. The past and the future in terms of
what had to
be done next, became irrelevant. There was only the present, only the
Witness
in the timeless moment.
I
experienced great difficulties
in working on the proposal when interacting with others. The
identification of
my role during those interactions was very strong.
In looking
back at that experience,
it became clear to me that the Seer, the Witness of the immediate
moment, the
one who no longer seeks, but simply rests with what it is right now, is
within our
reach. It does not require years of practice to get to it. We just have
to know
it is there, and keep ourselves focused, aware of the millions of
identifications in our lives that keep us from Seeing. It is so easy to
lose
that focus, but the more we gently keep reminding ourselves of that
possibility, the easier it will be to move away from our normal
perception of
reality, from the normal perception of the limited self.
Heloisa