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Over the last 3 months
I've been practicing daily morning meditations, with various strategies
to get
a deeper understanding of the working hypothesis.
I've noticed ego
struggles
come and go, guilt and frustration come and go and focused awareness
come and
go. Despite the different ways I've attempted - including contemplative
ponderings on the nature and manifestations of "i", devotion and
interspersed within it all, surrender...
In the final analysis,
what has it brought me? A much deeper understanding of my mind and its
trickeries, how thoughts and moods come and go, that despite processes
that
occur on the superficial levels of mind - a deeper processing or
experience"ing" has taken place, of which "i" am unaware.
There is more of a sense of ease and relaxed un-hurriedness to my days,
my
moments are lighter and nothing seems terribly heavy for longer than a
moment.
Have "i"
truly grasped the essence of the wh? Have "I", have "is"?
There have been moments, insights, experiences that words would merely
degrade,
so I'll leave that question ongoing, a continued practice.