Rod to Heloisa and Piet

Piet & Heloisa,

Yesterday in looking at Piet's Paradox of "trying to not-try" I found myself bouncing between two polar opposites, trying & not-trying. I waited for an insight which would resolve this paradox, but it did not come. So I decided to go with not-trying, which seemed to be less intrusive and less intellectualized. By not-trying, I went about my day with more-or-less my conventional attitude, although I was at times aware (as a background context) that I was intentionally trying to not-try.

What I came to see from this exercise was a difference between normal daily activity (replete with all its conditions, confusions, and demands) and the exceptional states of consciousness that the three of us seem to be looking for sub rosa. By that I mean all three of us seem to have an unspoken assumption that what we are seeking by these exercises is an alternative state of consciousness that clearly sets it apart from our conventional daily life. We've each described several such exceptional episodes in terms that make it very clear how much we value them.

So, now, I am wondering if this attachment to exceptional experience is really what we are seeking? Or, alternatively, are we seeking a more complete immersion in daily life that is, in a sense, not at all exceptional? I know that I, personally, attach great value to the exceptional states of consciousness that I've experienced, and I do think that such a goal has been implicit in my participation in the WoK experiment (as it is in my normal Vipassana meditation routine).

I'm now seeing our WoK experiment in a different light. Are we trying to transform our conventional daily life into an ongoing alternative state of exceptional consciousness, and hoping that it will come about on its own, without our "trying" to make it happen? I think there is at least a modicum of truth in that view.

I want to mention one other awareness that arose while considering Piet's Paradox. I found that I was often aware all three of our Proposals at the same time. My "immediate moment embedded in the larger context of my past & future" and Heloisa's "separation of affect from content" were both part of my awareness as I explored Piet's Paradox. The cumulative effect of all three did not produce the exceptional state of consciousness that I have been implicitly seeking; rather, they provided a deeper insight into how I go about my daily life.

Rod