Jake's Summary

When you think about Time, what are your first thoughts?

The theme of this week meditations was Time. I tried to see what Time is. Can we really see Time or will we always be bound to see the aftereffect of Time as perceived by the senses? I realized that we are really attached to our past. What we've seen, done and wished defines who we are. This appeared to be wrong, because at any moment we can radically change. We do not need to make progress over many years to be allowed to change. If we let go of our past, then we are free to be everything. The problem with this is that it is very scary to let our self go and every time you get closer, fear arises or you find another urgent-important-and-useless-thing to do.

For a brief moment, it appeared that without Time all is complete. If there is no time, we have no expectations, no dreams, no needs, no movement, no emotions, no thoughts and no fears. It could be seen as emptiness, but for some reason, while Time is stopped, it feels full and there.

In the last two days, I have been feeling less calm, less focused, angry and impatient. It might be that my body is reacting to the practice or it might be coming from outside, but things has been shaken inside and it seems to induce my moods. Until it passes, I guess that watching those moods might be the best thing to do.